100 Things to be thankful for

Anyone who knows me would agree this has probably been my toughest year ever.. From broken relationships to heart breaks..It’s amazing, i had no idea I was this strong and I had the ability to go through all this and still be happy right now. I really never want to go through all that again. But still there are so many things to be grateful for this year and that’s what this post is about.. The other 100 things that made me happy..This are the first 25, in no particular order  

1)      God’s love for me, it’s amazing.

2)      My mummy, she is always there..

3)      My siblings..esp Dami and ademilola, I never realised how much they had my back till stuff happened this year and Dami helped , while Ademilola jst listened. Og I love you too, only one person calls me OYINDA MY LOVE J

4)      Finishing Grad school.

5)      My friends.. they are the best. I love all my friends

6)      My life

7)      My body..yea, I know..not a size 10 yet ..but I’m happy

8)      Lol..I finally learnt how to cook

9)      I’m not such a baby anymore..lol..hmm, not so sure about that

10)   I don’t hate my dad anymore

11)   All the Nigerian authors that made my year

12)   My appendicitis scar...its still sexy  , hehehehehe

13)   Last year I had pneumonia.. I wasn’t ill this year

14)   I’m not so angry anymore..im a happy bunny

15)   The new friends I’ve made this year

16)   My small apartment ...some people are homeless

17)   My Ipod...lol(it wasn’t stolen this year ..unlike last yrL)

18)   My random thoughts

19)   My ability to see the good side of every1

20)   All the great sale deals

21)   X-factor

22)   Ice cream

23)   Cake from Patisserie Valerie

24)   Music from Gidilounge and notjustok .. I don’t know what I’ll have done this year with those websites

25)   Snow..lol, (my Pastor said we should be thankful for snow)

Omobonike..xx

What is our deepest fear ??

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.—Marianne Williamson


This just became my favorite poem.. Sorry Adaudo,  it beats Rejoice by Gladys Casely-Hayford. Omg!!! I loved that poem in Jss1 . I just hope I got her name right. So anyways I've been thinking about what the whole poem means to me.

I wonder what my greatest fear is.. lol. I actually know, I don't think i'll be sharing that though. So I feel funny, really funny. *sigh* lips sealed ... soon .

I don't miss me anymore. I'm fine.. not so fine but good enough I guess. I need to write...not today jor..I'm exhausted ...xx

I miss me

How long do I have to wait until I finally feel like me once more. I'm tired, been waiting for so long. Suddenly when every thing feels so good I start feeling crappy once more. Mayb its cuz I'm alwyz alone, I have lots of time to think about very silly things. I've been getting into moods lately , like I'm always jst angry, moody, upset and half of the time I want to cry. how sad..lol.

I'm happy too ( sometimes), I should be happy everyday . I'm such an ungrateful child. God I'm sorry, I'll stop whinning ryt now. I'm grateful for everything u've done. :)

*sigh*..that's over..innit?. Ok, so now.. Y I'm I always hungry. This isn't just fair. Its 3:12 am.. Can't sleep as usual but its alryt . I really dnt mind. Mayb I should sleep.. So atlst I won't keep eating. I'm scared. I dunno why, that's the scary part. I jst feel.....hmmm

I dunno jor.. Lemme stop talking gibberish .I'm going to sleep.. Goodmorning .

Omobonike.xx
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Dear ....

Weird , I'm writing about you. Last time though, I can't believe i'm even bothering . I got tired a while ago you know, kept hanging on cause apparently you needed us to be 'friends' .. I told you , it was never a good idea. You have a girlfrnd , so many things would have been wrong . I'm so happy I didnt go back to Nigeria in september.. Gosh, the drama would have been amazing . I find it hard to believe I actually got over you, *eyes rolling* .. told u , time changes everything.

Deimy says its my fault, I let you have your way for so long.. listened to all your rubbish . I find it hard to believe I'm not upset. Its so strange, my mum has always told me there isn't just one person for you. I'm happy I met you though, I've learnt so much . its unbelievable .. so thank you.

 
 #NOTE , If you ever see me , don't say wsup. I'll ignore you :). I don't hate you. We just cant be friends .


omobonike..xxx

Moving on..

Apparently I need to be spanked, my friend decided the remedy for all my drama is " Good lashing with koboko". yea, she isn't nice. But I love her, she still loves me and listens to all my worries. Anyways people I've done it again.

I wonder why I feel the need to plan everything around me. Sadly it didn't work out, obviously it was my fault again. I told him I couldn't do it. I had told him that from the first day I saw him after waiting for like 2 months to finally meet him..*sigh*. please if you find anyone worse than me let me know. I'll b happy to meet her, sorry for digressing . Yesterday was the finally straw, I think he had spent all week deciding whether or not to chill and finally coming to the realization that I would indeed dull his paroles he gave me a ultimatum , it was either i liked him and wanted to b in relationship or i didn't . he didn't even let me answer just said it was obvious i didn't feel they same way he did so I shouldn't bother. My guess , he has some new kele that is giving him good loving.. lolz.

Well I'm happy for him, Its so much easier that this is happening at least there would be no heart break for me next year.  I'm right back to where I started , where I want to be . I'm not ready , by December I might be. I'm not promising you anything but hopefully sha. Please pray for me least I become a victim of my mothers endless efforts to set me up with any guy. Thats just wrong by the way. I will miss him though . But mehn, life goes on.

So Mr V and I talk now, we've stopped fighting. We had some massive fight about 3 weeks ago ( our longest argument ) anyways we are back to being friends and all. Don't worry nothing for Mr V, theres no way I can like him that much again. For all of you that don't know he has a gf and yes I still don't have a bf ( bbm angry smiley ). Imagine !!! . Actually thats my fault so lets not dwell on that. I'm home alone :D.. and i'm happy. I'm going to sleep ryt now though. I just became really tired. I'll continue tomorrow :*..xx

Omobonike..xxx

To love or not to love??

Several times I've found myself in this dilemma.. Should I take the leap?? Get a boyfriend, settle down , stop being confused. I think this is one of the hardest decisions we have to make in life. When you realize he is the perfect one for you. I've missed one, I'm not so sure I missed it because I think if its suppose to be it will be and it wasn't . That means it wasn't right for me. I just thought it was.

I've learnt atý lot from that r/ship. I don't think I should be with anyone . I'm too caught up in my life..is that selfish??. Yes , it is and I don't care . But @ the same time I'm sad or lonely. I miss the days wen I could hardly wait to tell my bf what had happened. The stupid fights we had all because he ignored my pings , only to realize he had been in a meeting or was driving. And my refusal to say sorry.. :p. As much as I want that with someone else I don't think I'm ready. I thought I was, I really did. Until I started comparing the different suitors with my ex. My ex had alwyz done things differently, I can't understand why they just don't understand me. I can't b rushed, I do things when I want to . Its not my fault. If you try, I'll runaway. I watched the runaway bride recently and I have been comparing myself with the babe.. Except I runaway from boyfriends. My friends see it in a different light. They say I'm unable to commit. Yes I agree, I have commitment problems. But don't u think coming from a broken home where my parents separated when I was 4 and the first person I ever really loved left me broken hearted I'm allowed to be . Especially when it comes to choosing my next boyfriend . Well.. I think I am.. If u don't. U can lyk to go and hug an electric pole. Kmt!!!

What to do???? I've asked myself that question over and over again.. *sigh* I need to pray.
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I'm......

Its funny how music inspires me to blog. I'm listening to P-squares song " e no easy" . the lyrics of the song make so much song . "Even if you no get money , dey jolly dey shake body.. when u fall u go stand up again."...lol. I heard this song along time ago just in case you were wondering. I think it applies to my life at the moment. I'm learning how to be more than grateful to God for the endless miracles he performs in my life every day. A lot of this miracles I don't acknowledge not because I'm ungrateful but there are so many things in life we think its our right for some weird reasons . I get unhappy when I realise I'm being taken for granted . Imagine how many times we've all taken God for granted .. wow.  He is always there you know, ready to take you back . Most especially ready to take me back :) . I love GOD.

I learnt something in church today. A while ago, I drifted away from God. I did some things I would always regret and I found it extremely hard to believe that God was willing to forgive me. While at church today I learnt that guilt is the devils weapon of trying to remind you about what God has already forgotten and immediately I said to myself.. WORD !!. So every time that stupid voice comes into my head and starts chatting rubbish i'm so going to ignore .

My friend asked me a question yesterday..lol. He was like that why do we need to pray for miracles when sometimes God answers our miracles without us asking. I told him what I had been taught in church. God is committed to meeting all our needs according to his riches in glory . We need to understand this part, Our need might not be Gods desires for us. The fact that we turn our desires into a need does not mean its gonna happen. God is not obligated to meet any desire we turn into a need . I've taken this seriously and like I always tell people . I believe God loves me so much , he'll never let anything happen to me. Sorry thats how I view my life :). So each time I get disappointed, I believe God knew about it and wanted it to happen because he is preparing me for something greater .

Omobonike..xx

#Np: Over the moon- Dr sid

Te Amo

I know right, weird title . Its not exactly my fault , I was listening to the song when I decided it was time for another post . You know how I hardly ever blog even though I have so much to say. Tonight was good you know, had a long chat with one of my  close friends and she made me re-think about what I'm doing and the various emotions that were running through my head. Yea, I told her everything so she was able to properly analyse the situation . So I'm happy :) , you know sometimes I get so uncertain about my future maybe I should finally get a tattoo of  Matthew 6:25 may be I would b able to remember what that verse says all the time .  I'll pass , not a huge fan of those..its so not nice.

I love my mummy so much, when I think about how much she has sacrificed for me  it makes me wanna cry. I think I'm over hating my dad, there is no point. it still doesn't change the fact that I'm a tribalist that one is here to stay until I meet another nice yoruba boy. I only know one and he is my bestie , I have this weird feeling he is just nice to me cuz we've been friends since second sch..*shrugs* I don't care I still love him silly you know.. :D . he hardly ever gives me advice but when he does its always on point.  I passed on an offer from Phb , isn't that weird and I didn't even have to think about it. I just said no .. wow , time really does change a lot of things you know.  Of which my friend is coming in sept ..yay :D ..We are gonna have so much fun. Who knows I might even come out of retirement and start clubbing once more..

Big ups 2 my sis.,,She is now a lawyer . Now dont you all agree with me that it is time for her to go and marry .. he he. Ahn ahn , she can lyk to chill a bit on school. But I think my sister loves school..lol. unlike me. cant wait to b done mehn. I really am tired. So the fact that Bib is coming in sept is a reality...hmm U kno how it was a 50% chance, its now 100..lol. So now I'm a bit nervous. lol y I'm I writing about this. Just so you kno I worry about everything and anything, my mum says it keeps me busy ..lol. and if I dont have anything to worry about, i'll worry for my family and friends.. smh !!!

My bestie has gone to naija,, so sad u know. I'll survive, my other bestie would soon be here so i'll be alright . I love drake , I think he is the best thing since sliced bread...lol. i think the same way about so many other things.awww..my fave song just came up on my playlist.  *huge smile*..xx

Omobonike

#np: doesnt mean anything- Alicia Keys 

p.s .. its not my fav song, just a song i really like.. I love the whole album.

#random

I jst had my bath.. N now I back to the same couch I've been sitting on since I woke up.. Jst so u kno.. I slept on this couch 2.. :p .. Yea big deal.. Funny I love sleeping on the couch.. When I was home this easter..my mum was actually worried that something was wrong with me..I'd go n sleep on the couch downstairs..believe me that couch is 2 comfy..now I've been banned..loool..kmt !!! O well.. I jst pray she'll want to change them one day so I can move it permanently 2 my room... Shet !!! Derz no space :( .. My sister should do n get married jor.. That room isn't big enough for both of us...I jst spoke to my mum and as usual she made me happy.. I wasn't sad or upset.. My feelings were just blank..couldn't feel nething..for a second I hoped I'll cry.. I think I kno wats wrong.. I'm nt goin to tell.. I dnt want to admit it to myself....nyz, I'm good now.. Goin to chew gum n do sumwork.. Serlzly ..I've never met ne1 apart frm me that derives so much pleasure in chewing gum...funny gum keeps me frm eating junk....its usually the other way around for most pple ..but for me.. Gum is my knight in shinning armour.. So I have this gr8 bk.. " Who fears death" nnedi okorafor...n the sad thing is that I can't read it... I wanna scream.. I hate school..lol..no I dnt I jst wanna b done.. So my mummy can b proud..she has alwyz been but I wanna make her extra proud.. That neva hurts does it??Ha ha.. Today while doin a little bit of fb gossip I came across a babe who had over 5000 frnds on her page..guess y....in most of her pics she was half naked.. N den most of the wall posts she had .. Had to do wiv pple leaving their numbers for her 2 call them... That's y I love fb.. Things lyk this r so hilarious.. Twitter has nufin on this ish.. Nyz... I got a fb message ..its 2 funny.. Jst so u kno ..I dnt kno who this person is.. "I know I can't give you the whole world, but I can promise you I will always love you. My heart is yours, and even though I know I'll make mistakes, I will never break your heart. I'll be right beside you as we chase our dreams together, and you will never have to wonder if I still care. I think about you all day long and when I'm not near you my mind is consumed with thoughts of being close to you again. When you're near me I feel like everything in the world is right, and I know I don't have to ask God for anything because as long I have you in my life I have everything I could ever want. All I want to do is spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you have made me. I know you might already have someone else, but if you do, I hope that he feels the same way I feel because that's what you deserve. "Lol..that's d message urs truly got frm sum1.. I think this is the funniest message I've read in a while..if I actually knew him.. I would have said "awww"..but I don't..Nyz, I'm bored..and I have so much work to do..imagine.. Silly me..Omobonike ​♥ ♡ ...xx#np..te amo-rihanna

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New phase

I've been cheating on the whole idea of blogging.. Dunno y.. N I have so much 2 tell :(.. Nyz, my life is gettin better.. :)
..
Imagine, Mr V forgot 2 call me on my b'day.. Is there ne reason y I should still b frnds wiv him.. Real frnds dnt do stuff lyk that.. I was so hurt u kno.. I cried..how could he have forgottn..n now I dnt even wanna tlk to him again..as in I'm done. He has finally ruined our friendship..derz no excuse in this world..it wouldn't b enough. After all we've been thru that's the best he could do.. He might jst have said babes I dnt wanna be your friend.. Fi mi le..cuz believe me that's wat I got from wat he did.. As if I was forcing us 2 b frnds.. Who needs fake frnds.. N now he is apologising.. I'm nt even upset, I jst dnt have nething to say 2 him..I'm done..it took a while but I'm finally der n derz no goin back . I'm so happy here...nyz, I dnt think I'm being mean.. I think he is gettin excatly wat he deserves..u dnt tret a person lyk shit n expect the person to treat u like a prince...nyz, lyk I said its all good.
Now I kno y I dnt blog for long , I start feeling guilty about my sch work.. Gt2go , have a lovely wkend.
Omobonike ‎​♥ ♡ ...xxx

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My birthday !!

Lol.. 15 mins before my birthday.. I started crying..I was sad and angry..I wish I could turn back the hands of tym 2 last year.. I would have done so many things differently.. That's all I've wished for since I startd this year..nyz, so the bbm's n d facebook messages start coming in.. N I'm still sad.. Pple putting up my pic on bb ..n dedicating their status 2 me.. Lol.. I had startd smiling by then n 1or 2 pple call me n I dnt feel bad nemore.. May still a little sad.. But definately not angry. Lol..yup.. My bbm n facebk are back.. :(.. I'm controlling it now sha.. Thank God

I just realised this is a beginning of a new year for me.. God kept me 2 see this day so I could start afresh..lol.. God tlks to me, I kno he does..the calm voice I hear in my mind tellin me its gonna b alryt.. Some tyms I wonder y me, I hvnt been 'it' recently . When he tells me the plans he has for me.. If only I can submit 2 him totally.. N I wonder if he really is tlking to me.. Bt I'm jst gettin it.. Even though I can't go back to last year.. God jst gave me a fresh start..lol.. Dis suden realisation makes me wanna cry..I heard it so clearly.. "Its a new year, new beginning"..I'm so happy ..at least I get another chance 2 b truly happy.. :)

So 2day, I'm gonna go out wiv frnds and celebrate the fresh start God has given me.. :D . I'll tell u how my day went later on..

Omobonike ‎​♥ ♡ ..xx

#np: lucky- jason mraz
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I shall not want !!

I woke up this morning with the beginning of psalm 23 on my mind. The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want..

Its funny that I've recited this psalm over n over again and finally I'm just beginning to fully understand it.. It means I shall nt lack, have to ask for nething..because God is my guardian. I worry a lot .. I dunno y .. I jst worry.. N through out yest I was so worried about my dissertation n all ..n I couldn't bring myself to do work.. When I'm scared nothing gets done.. N I woke up n I dat was the first thing I said.. And recently I've been asking myself this question .. What exactly have u done to deserve so much love.. Cuz I kno I'm nt the best person.. Yet the way God loves me.. Its amazing.

I saw my results .. Another prove God loves me.. Cuz really those grades have nothin to do wiv me.. I think I'm playful..for this reason I have decided to delete my bbm on my blackberry.. This is the hardest thing I've done in a while.. I'm officially alone. Wiv nobody to tlk to.. But my mind tells me this is the best decision I've made in a while.. Cuz I really wanna do well in my project.. I need focus.. No bbm , no facebook. Jst me :(

I'm probably gonna b writing a lot then.. I hope so.. My mind seems troubled.. Dunno wat is wrong.. I'm tired jor.. So many things to think about.. N yet again I ask myslf y I even worry.. God is more than enough.. I constantly need to remind myslf..

Omobonike ‎​♥ ♡ ..xxx

#np: shontelle- impossible
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PUSH ME !!!

Lol.. I kno ryt ...weird title .. But seriously I need some pushing.. I need to have a target ..I'm jst der.. My thesis is callin for me...begging me to do sumthin about it.. I've tried.. U kno how the hardest part is starting.. Yea..starting is alwayz the hardest part for me .. Once I start , I dnt stop.. I'll b on top on my game.. Constantly.... But b4 I start.. Lol.. it takes foreva.. So now I've decided I need pushing..sumthin to scare me..lol.. That works a lot for me..n its very good @ making me start sumthin I've wasted so much tym on..
Nyz that's 1 part of my lyf..so I saw sex n the city 2 .. On sat ..gosh.. It was so looooong... N d movie was lyk an advert for abu dhabi.. So now I want to go to abu dhabi.. U'll notice I used the word "want" .. Lol..that's bcuz..a want is nuthin but a mere desire.. I have no money..that's y when I watch movies lyk that I've seen abu dhabi .. Wiv my £5 sumthin ticket, I can visit a lot of places.. Lol.. Seriously.. It would b nice..mayb I should start saving.. I dnt have to stay in a 5 or 7 star hotel.. It would b boring jor who would I go with...hmmm..nobody.. Hiss.. Everybody is @ work..:( .. Mayb wen I get a boo.. We will go togeda.. Hmm..noiceeee!!!!
Lol.. Yup yup..back to d boy issue sef.. I think I've been saying no to so many pple these days ..I feel sad.. Mayb I should say yes..but dere r sumthings I would say no 2.. Example.. Mr Phd.. Wantd me to go swimming with him.. Lol.. Said no straight away.. Who goes swimming wiv a boy who is nt ur bf n who u've had previous exp wiv.. Lol.. Def nt " urs truly".. I'm nt that stupid.. Silly boy.. N its even indoors.. Hiss.."Smh".. But a few dinners n movies wuldnt b bad..as long as I'm picking the resturants n movies n all he is doin is paying..that's good enuf.. No drinks tho.. Yup.. I dnt go out to " have drinks" nemore...
I really am proud of myslf..sems lyk I'm becoming me again.. :) .. I was lost for a bit..lol..now.. Bonnie is back.. Lol.. Nyz , so we r having a bbq on fri n guess who the dj is...ME!!!! Yup yup..I'm excited ..I like goin for house parties n I'm d dj.. It means.. I dnt have to dance with ne boy who is almost drunk or working his way to being drunk.. And I get to play wat eva music I want to listen to.. How cool is tha..
Nyz.. Pple.. Its goin down lyf this friday @ leodis..lolz.. that's jst me being razz..
But its gonna b fun, let's pray for sunshine tho.. Nyz, since I have no classes or exams nemore.. I'm gonna b writing a lot so get ready.. U would not b'live how comfy blogging frm a blackberry is.. I can keep on writing foreva .. :)
Omobonike ‎​♥ ♡
#np... Still only me-2face.. Told u I'm in love with that song :p ..
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Only me

Gosh !!! I'm in love with that song plus the video.. I think 2face did really good n I really would buy that album for 1000 if I was in naija..I'm done wiv exams ..yay!!! Scream/shout/laugh/smile n den yea Cry.. Yea..that's exactly wat happnd to me.. I'm sad n I dnt kno y..kk . Lemme stop lying I kno y..but d thing is that its nt jst 1 thing.. So many things.. Life is jst..arrgh!!!

Yest was children's day.. I thought so much about my childhood ..I was a really quiet child ..sumtyms my mum can't get ova the fact that I'm so stubborn now cuz I used to be very obedient ..lol..nt that I'm nt..I jst tell pple my opinion.. Dnt think its such a good idea tho..but I still do..n it gets on a lot of pple's nerves..but wth, who cares. If u dnt lyk it, go n hug an electric pole or jump into the lagoon.. Suit urslf..lol..that was totally off point..
Nyz, I wish I was back in pry sch..when I couldn't even b botherd if I came 1st or last..yea blive me dat was the last thing on my mind.. My parents were seperated by then wiv my mum doin wat my mum n dad should have been doing together..lol..n u would think I wuld have been serious.. Sadly I wasn't.. Nyz..it was still nice tho.. Alwyz knowing my mum could solve all my problems .. All I had to do was ask..

Thot about it for a while then I decided I'd rather b here.. I'm almost 22 .. Secondary sch takes so long.. Dunno y.. I'd rather b here than have to do that whole experience again..I spoke to my frnd today..its her b'day n she is 20..gosh , I feel so old.. N now I think a lot is expected frm me..dunno y.... I need my mummy.. As weird as that sounds ..all I wanna do is have one of those talks wiv my mum in her room..where we jst tlk till we both fall asleep..she alwyz jst knows..I hate making decisions..I've made a few..sum bad, sum good.. I've learnt from the bad ones tho..

I'm goin to watch sex n the city 2 2mrw :) .. So happy..atlst it would get me out of this stupid mood I'm in.. I'm being such an ass to everybody..I'm neva in this mood for a long tym y is this one taking so much tym to go..I need to find sumthin/ sum1 to get me out of it.. :(..hmm..
Nyz, I'm goin to sleep :)..yup, I'm living the good lyf.. Its jst 21:44..ha ha.. :)..l8r..

Omobonike ‎​♥ ♡ ..xxxx
#np. Only me: 2 face

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The phone call

Its 2 am n I'm still awake.. Was gonna read till 6 this morning but sumthin jst happend.. While I was reading for my exams .. I c my fone beep "unknown no" n I thot in my head.. Dis stanley boy ( my classmate).. Y is he alwyz callin me wiv unknown number ,.. So I pick I it up..only for me to hear a girl cursing me n telling me to leave her bf alone... Imagine me.. Lol..I was so shocked..its neva happnd to me in my entire lyf... I was tongue tied for about 10 seconds..yea, I was that shocked..d nxt question I ask is who is ur man.. She dsnt say..4he keeps on chattin away..n den drops...
First of all..
I have no clue about the boy dis girl is tlkin bout n she was stupid enuf nt to say the name of the boy I'm suppose to b staying away from..
I'm upset, really really upset..I'm nt that kind of girl.. N I really do feel sorry for the girl..d stupid boy who is driving her crazy.. Or atlst crazy enough to do that.. Its kind of nice tho..that sum1 thinks I'm hot enough to b considered as a threat..thumbs up for me :D ..
Nyz, it wasn't as funny as I now think it is yest.. I was so upset.. Even more upset cuz I have no clue n no options to even guess .. :(..
This year hasn't been so great for me..frm one wahala to the nxt.. I need to get closer to God o.. I've been slacking these days..
I'm goin to sleep ..I need to forget that this eva happened..

Omobonike ‎​♥ ♡ ..xxx
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being sane

I'm losing it..SERIOUSLY...
its hard u kno, as much as I promised this blog wasnt going to be soapy..I really need to clear my head... too many thots ..I think its gonna burst ;).. I recently made some really bad choices .. really sad ones too.. I've learnt alot from my misdeeds..I know I cant take back what I've done and I'm not trying to...I believe in karma and accept the whole " whateva u sow, u must reap" the big question that I ask myslf everyday is "how do I move on".... I'm trying so hard to do that ..mayb thats y its not happening.. cuz, im puttin too much into it.. yea, ive tried not puttin so much into it also..but somethin sumwhere is wrong...really  wrong..Ive read my bible, n sum voice in my head keeps telling me everything is gonna be fine...n I believe that except that its taking such a long time..Another voice in my head goes" oh, wat if it just wasnt meant to be".. yea, I also believe that wateva belongs to me..will alwyz b there for me..n for sum stupid reason , i think im special in a way.. cuz, I'm not the best person u'll eva met. i have so many faults its unbelivable.. yet God is alwyz there for me..waiting for me, tlking to me and telling me its gonna b alryt... and i still worry..*smh*
I try honestly, i do try.. part of me is nt willing to let go..honestly sumtyms all i want to do is cut that part of me n tell it to ' take a walk'... i really can do without it rite now.. i have so much to do..n this thots keep filling my head its annoying.. worse part.. an important person in my life isnt talkin to me.. im angry @ him,... i guess he is also upset :( .. i really wish i had him to talk to..he cant solve my problems but he makes me laugh like crazy..I really do miss u " charlie"... i wish we could end our stupid fight..u'll kno wat to say to make me :)..
honestly...I need to kno what to do..I feel stuck u know.. n honestly i dunno wat is wrong wiv me....lol..i feel alot much better already ... n i hadnt even gttn to half of what was on my mind...nyz, reality jst dawned on me once more that i have exams nxt wk and therefore i dnt have the luxury of writing on and on about my life..so l8r..n if nething new n important comes up in my life, i'll let u kno...

omobonike...xx

Defining me

I've oftened wondered what most people see when they look @ me.. Most times I fear that all they really see is a pretty face.. I've asked most of my really close boy friends..n dey all say the same thing "innocence"
I wonder y, I have that look.. I would never describe myself as an innocent person... Lol.. That's jst hilarious..
And then we start tlking..all of a sudden they dnt c a pretty face nemore..dey c a smart girl with a pretty face.. Blive me I dnt think I'm smart..but I guess I must b a bit smart to do wat I do.. I'm nt one of those peeps..that flip through a book..n den all d person does is go 2 d exam hall fill d answer booklet n ask for extra paper...Nope!!.. So not me..I wish tho..my lyf wuld b less stressful..
I'm one of the peeps that have to read n read.. So I start early.. Mayb that's y I get good grades.. Cuz I kno exactly what to do to pass my exams..
I got the greatest advice this year from my sister.. I was tlkin to her about exams n all.. N how I dnt have tym n all.. N den she goes.." Bonnie, cut everybody off n do wat u have to do" and that's exactly wat I'm goin to do.. So if u r one of those pple that I'm gonna have to cut off..I'm apologising even b4 I've started.. I love all my friends but.. I have to ace this masters..
When I look @ my mirror..I c me..plain old me..yea, a fyn girl ( I kno..I'm fyn).. But I want to b jst more than that.. I want to be a..... ( I'm nt goin to scare u).. So that part is censored ..lol.. Sorry..
Recently , sum1 made me feel really bad about myslf.. For a second..I felt really bad.. N I still do sumtyms..but I found a remedy..everytym I feel stupid and silly.. All I ever have to do, is look into the mirror n c myslf for who I really am..n nobody's opinion matters nemore..

Omobonike ♡ ‎​♥ ..xxx
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Nothin on you

Its been a really long week, I'm so fed up wiv sch .. I'll try to recap my week as much as possible or I can remember...
Loughborough .. Was good.. Saw jumi n all.. Very eventful.. But I ‎​♥ Leeds mehn... Everywhere else is jst not it.. I love this song " nothin on u" - b.o.b.. I get d feelin dey where tlkin to me.. My dreams .. I kno.
Wsup wiv all these blogs I read.. Everybody is tlking about relationships and wat not.. I'm single .. Kini big deal!!.. N no I dnt need to go n wash my head in d stream..lol..I'm fine lyk dis..sum1 should pls make that point clear to my mother.. *smh*.. Cuz she dsnt get it... I've been refusing all d offers for drinks/movie/ dinner I've been getting these days..everything is jst boring..same old.. Dnt pple get tired.. Wanna go c ironman 2.. I should save myslf d stress n watch it online...mayb I'll go on sunday.. Give myslf a treat..its been a bit..
Online shopping has damaged my account.. As in.. Its nt so funny nemore...but still I got this lovely dress.. I look tew mad in it.. Jst so u kno its nt nething short n slutty..its decent..but its fitted..it wuld be nice to wear for a wedding.. Hmm...d needs of bonnie.... I'm confused. Stale gist.. I'm alwyz confused... But this tym a certain sum1 is confusing me and making remarks that I think are suppose to confuse me ..hmm.. :( ..I dunno jor.. Too many issues , jst me..
I'm really confused.. I need direction and answers to certain questions in my lyf...

Omobonike..xx
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Dear John

I watched a lovely movie today.. While I was suppose to b doing my work. Dear John.. I kno..I'm soapy lyk dat.. I cry when watching movies.. N dis movie I cried ..geez..love is such a beautiful thing.. :).. I kno its jst a movie but I lyk when things have happy endings.. I think It gives me sum hope that everything is gonna b jst fine in my life.
I took 2 hrs off my study tym to watch it and now my head hurts..still have to so work.. Nurofen mehn..can't dull it.. I so wanna download d soundtrack..of which I'm downloading the movie..its gonna b lyk ps I love u.. Omgosh.. I love that movie.. I've had it on my laptop since undergrad.. N its nt goin newhere..I still watch it..can't get ova it.. D guy was too hot..n dey loved themselves silly.. I cried for that movie too... So imagine d drama I displayd when I was watching titanic.. Lool..u wuld have thot I knew them personally..
Party 2nyt o..can't go..stuck indoors wiv work..wuld b highly unserious of me to step out of my room today..
Spoke to my mummy today :).. N guess wat my new i-touch jst got in..I'm ashamed to say this is my 3rd i-touch n 5th ipod..
Its neva my fault..except for my second ipod.. N ribena poured in my bag.. It so wasn't my fault..nyz..ipod is here ..happy but I dnt have tym to put songs in it...too much work.. I miss my old one.. Atlst I'm happy..I backed up my old one so all my notes r nt missing.. It would have been really sad..
Wanna do 4 hrs straight then take a 2/3 hour nap.. Get up n continue my work.. God help me..its almost 6.. Time to do this ish...‎​♥ ♡

Omobonike..xxx
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Everything

Baby u r simply so sexy, ur love dey perplex me.. I ♡ this song..omg.. Dunno y.. Every time I listen to it.. Its jst makes me :) ..
Apart frm where she said EVERYTHIN.. But even that can't stop me from loving the song..
Same old routine today.. Library 9-6..except that today..I shuldnt have bothered goin.. :(.. Didn't get ne work done.. Dunno y.. I did a bit tho.. Not as much as I thot I wuld..
Hung out yest wiv Tara.. Bar Noir.. It was so nice..
Yest was stupid mehn.. I decided nt to take my umbrella or wear a hoddie ... N den it rains :(.. My hair got wet..it was so sad.. Nyz, I'm tired. Jst got back from the bar and I really wanna sleep.. So l8r.

Omobonike..xx
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fresh start

Welcome to my life.. just so u kno .. I love my life and I love my family ... even though sometimes they annoy me like crazy. I recently went through a very sad phase of my life and I was with my family. My bro and sis were der for me , it was crazy and I love them lyk crazy for this singular act of kindness they showed to me.

I'm nt exactly over that phase of my life , but I kno that im gonna b one day .. Time changes every thing. #fact. I love my mummy, im sad i dont tell her this as often as I think about it but the good thing is that she knows I love her.

Now about me , I have less than 6 months before i finish my masters degree therefore I have alot of work to do including my 30,000 words dissertation. This is my second blog ... the first 1 got kinda "soppy" ..I promise it wuldnt happen to dis one.. This is gonna b all about me, my life and the lovely books I read. Considering the fact that I have so much work to do, when I read a book i'm super excited thats y i cant wait for this wknd. i'm reading francine rivers " a lineage of grace" . i wonder y i neva read that book.. CU graduate *smh*.. nyz, its jumi"s birthday and im off to Loughborough with lyk 3 hours travel time ...and NO im nt taking my laptop with me.. i think i've earned some alone time... been doing 9-8 everyday @ the library.. i really need to pass this masters .. must make mummy proud.

I miss funsho, all our over night reading/drawing .. now its jst me and GOD ..:D. ..nyz , I have to go .. spent alot of time trying to upload this stupid template that looks super cool and i did nt meet the target I set @ the library so I have to do some extra work :( ....xxx

Omobonike