To love or not to love??

Several times I've found myself in this dilemma.. Should I take the leap?? Get a boyfriend, settle down , stop being confused. I think this is one of the hardest decisions we have to make in life. When you realize he is the perfect one for you. I've missed one, I'm not so sure I missed it because I think if its suppose to be it will be and it wasn't . That means it wasn't right for me. I just thought it was.

I've learnt atý lot from that r/ship. I don't think I should be with anyone . I'm too caught up in my life..is that selfish??. Yes , it is and I don't care . But @ the same time I'm sad or lonely. I miss the days wen I could hardly wait to tell my bf what had happened. The stupid fights we had all because he ignored my pings , only to realize he had been in a meeting or was driving. And my refusal to say sorry.. :p. As much as I want that with someone else I don't think I'm ready. I thought I was, I really did. Until I started comparing the different suitors with my ex. My ex had alwyz done things differently, I can't understand why they just don't understand me. I can't b rushed, I do things when I want to . Its not my fault. If you try, I'll runaway. I watched the runaway bride recently and I have been comparing myself with the babe.. Except I runaway from boyfriends. My friends see it in a different light. They say I'm unable to commit. Yes I agree, I have commitment problems. But don't u think coming from a broken home where my parents separated when I was 4 and the first person I ever really loved left me broken hearted I'm allowed to be . Especially when it comes to choosing my next boyfriend . Well.. I think I am.. If u don't. U can lyk to go and hug an electric pole. Kmt!!!

What to do???? I've asked myself that question over and over again.. *sigh* I need to pray.
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