being sane

I'm losing it..SERIOUSLY...
its hard u kno, as much as I promised this blog wasnt going to be soapy..I really need to clear my head... too many thots ..I think its gonna burst ;).. I recently made some really bad choices .. really sad ones too.. I've learnt alot from my misdeeds..I know I cant take back what I've done and I'm not trying to...I believe in karma and accept the whole " whateva u sow, u must reap" the big question that I ask myslf everyday is "how do I move on".... I'm trying so hard to do that ..mayb thats y its not happening.. cuz, im puttin too much into it.. yea, ive tried not puttin so much into it also..but somethin sumwhere is wrong...really  wrong..Ive read my bible, n sum voice in my head keeps telling me everything is gonna be fine...n I believe that except that its taking such a long time..Another voice in my head goes" oh, wat if it just wasnt meant to be".. yea, I also believe that wateva belongs to me..will alwyz b there for me..n for sum stupid reason , i think im special in a way.. cuz, I'm not the best person u'll eva met. i have so many faults its unbelivable.. yet God is alwyz there for me..waiting for me, tlking to me and telling me its gonna b alryt... and i still worry..*smh*
I try honestly, i do try.. part of me is nt willing to let go..honestly sumtyms all i want to do is cut that part of me n tell it to ' take a walk'... i really can do without it rite now.. i have so much to do..n this thots keep filling my head its annoying.. worse part.. an important person in my life isnt talkin to me.. im angry @ him,... i guess he is also upset :( .. i really wish i had him to talk to..he cant solve my problems but he makes me laugh like crazy..I really do miss u " charlie"... i wish we could end our stupid fight..u'll kno wat to say to make me :)..
honestly...I need to kno what to do..I feel stuck u know.. n honestly i dunno wat is wrong wiv me....lol..i feel alot much better already ... n i hadnt even gttn to half of what was on my mind...nyz, reality jst dawned on me once more that i have exams nxt wk and therefore i dnt have the luxury of writing on and on about my life..so l8r..n if nething new n important comes up in my life, i'll let u kno...

omobonike...xx