Moving on..

Apparently I need to be spanked, my friend decided the remedy for all my drama is " Good lashing with koboko". yea, she isn't nice. But I love her, she still loves me and listens to all my worries. Anyways people I've done it again.

I wonder why I feel the need to plan everything around me. Sadly it didn't work out, obviously it was my fault again. I told him I couldn't do it. I had told him that from the first day I saw him after waiting for like 2 months to finally meet him..*sigh*. please if you find anyone worse than me let me know. I'll b happy to meet her, sorry for digressing . Yesterday was the finally straw, I think he had spent all week deciding whether or not to chill and finally coming to the realization that I would indeed dull his paroles he gave me a ultimatum , it was either i liked him and wanted to b in relationship or i didn't . he didn't even let me answer just said it was obvious i didn't feel they same way he did so I shouldn't bother. My guess , he has some new kele that is giving him good loving.. lolz.

Well I'm happy for him, Its so much easier that this is happening at least there would be no heart break for me next year.  I'm right back to where I started , where I want to be . I'm not ready , by December I might be. I'm not promising you anything but hopefully sha. Please pray for me least I become a victim of my mothers endless efforts to set me up with any guy. Thats just wrong by the way. I will miss him though . But mehn, life goes on.

So Mr V and I talk now, we've stopped fighting. We had some massive fight about 3 weeks ago ( our longest argument ) anyways we are back to being friends and all. Don't worry nothing for Mr V, theres no way I can like him that much again. For all of you that don't know he has a gf and yes I still don't have a bf ( bbm angry smiley ). Imagine !!! . Actually thats my fault so lets not dwell on that. I'm home alone :D.. and i'm happy. I'm going to sleep ryt now though. I just became really tired. I'll continue tomorrow :*..xx

Omobonike..xxx

To love or not to love??

Several times I've found myself in this dilemma.. Should I take the leap?? Get a boyfriend, settle down , stop being confused. I think this is one of the hardest decisions we have to make in life. When you realize he is the perfect one for you. I've missed one, I'm not so sure I missed it because I think if its suppose to be it will be and it wasn't . That means it wasn't right for me. I just thought it was.

I've learnt atý lot from that r/ship. I don't think I should be with anyone . I'm too caught up in my life..is that selfish??. Yes , it is and I don't care . But @ the same time I'm sad or lonely. I miss the days wen I could hardly wait to tell my bf what had happened. The stupid fights we had all because he ignored my pings , only to realize he had been in a meeting or was driving. And my refusal to say sorry.. :p. As much as I want that with someone else I don't think I'm ready. I thought I was, I really did. Until I started comparing the different suitors with my ex. My ex had alwyz done things differently, I can't understand why they just don't understand me. I can't b rushed, I do things when I want to . Its not my fault. If you try, I'll runaway. I watched the runaway bride recently and I have been comparing myself with the babe.. Except I runaway from boyfriends. My friends see it in a different light. They say I'm unable to commit. Yes I agree, I have commitment problems. But don't u think coming from a broken home where my parents separated when I was 4 and the first person I ever really loved left me broken hearted I'm allowed to be . Especially when it comes to choosing my next boyfriend . Well.. I think I am.. If u don't. U can lyk to go and hug an electric pole. Kmt!!!

What to do???? I've asked myself that question over and over again.. *sigh* I need to pray.
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